Grief Isn’t Just Crying: The Silent Ways It Affects You (And How to Cope)
- Attentive Psychotherapy & Counseling Center
- Jun 3
- 2 min read
What Grief Can Look Like
Grief can manifest physically, emotionally, and mentally:
🌙 Physical exhaustion or trouble sleeping
🍽️ Changes in appetite, eating too much or not enough
☁️ Mental fog or difficulty concentrating
⚡ Mood swings or irritability
🌫️ Feeling disconnected or numb
🤔 Guilt or questioning if you’re “doing it right”
Grief is a natural response to loss, but it doesn’t always follow a neat timeline. The healing process is individual.
Kimberly Schaffer, MSW, LCSW, CSSW, CCS, founder of Attentive Psychotherapy & Counseling Center, often shares with her clients that grief is like the ocean. "Sometimes, you can see the waves—your emotions—approaching. These are the moments you expect, like anniversaries, birthdays, or missed milestones. Other times, you are facing away from the ocean, and a wave hits you out of nowhere. You never saw it coming. It might be a song playing in the grocery store or the scent of a perfume or cologne your loved one used to wear. Our senses are powerful and can transport us back to a moment in time in an instant."
How to Cope with Grief
Let yourself feel. There is no right way to grieve. You may cry one day and laugh the next. You may feel numb for weeks before the emotions come in waves. Whatever you are feeling—let it be okay.
Reach out. Talking with trusted friends, family, or a therapist can help you process your emotions in a supportive space. You do not have to carry this alone.
Honor your loss in your own way. Creating a small ritual, writing a letter, planting a tree, or looking through photos—these acts can bring comfort and meaning, even when words fall short.
Be patient with yourself. Grief can be a long road. You might feel better for a while, only to find a wave hits you again unexpectedly. That does not mean you are back at the beginning. Healing is not linear.
Grief is an ongoing journey—one that does not come with a rulebook. But with time, support, and self-compassion, it is possible to find your way forward.
If you are grieving, know that you are not alone. And if your grief does not “look like grief,” it is still real. It still matters.
