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My Child Has Big Feelings and Screams—How Do I Help Them (Without Losing My Cool)?

  • Writer: Attentive Psychotherapy & Counseling Center
    Attentive Psychotherapy & Counseling Center
  • Apr 14
  • 2 min read

Updated: Apr 21

Does your child have big emotions that often result in loud outbursts or meltdowns? You’re not alone. Parenting a child who struggles with managing their emotions can be incredibly challenging, especially when it feels like you’re constantly at the mercy of their feelings. But here’s the good news: with the right strategies, you can help your child process their emotions without feeling overwhelmed yourself.


Close-up of a child's face with an open mouth, showing upper teeth. Nose has a slight runny appearance. Background is blurred, creating an emotional, expressive focus.

Why Big Feelings Happen


Children—especially young ones—often lack the emotional regulation skills to manage strong feelings like anger, frustration, or sadness. They might scream because they are overwhelmed and don’t know how to express themselves in a more calm or constructive way. While these outbursts can feel like a direct challenge to your patience, it’s important to recognize that your child’s behavior is often rooted in an emotional need, not defiance.


Adult and child, in white shirts and jeans, embrace while gazing at a serene sunset over a vast landscape, evoking warmth and comfort.

How to Support Your Child


  1. Stay Calm Yourself. When your child is screaming or throwing a tantrum, the first step is to stay grounded. Take deep breaths, count to ten, and try to stay as calm as possible. Your child will take cues from your reaction.


  2. Acknowledge Their Emotions. Sometimes, simply validating what they are feeling can help them feel heard. For example, saying, “I can see you are really upset. Let’s take a deep breath together,” can be calming.


  3. Teach Emotional Vocabulary. Help your child learn the words to express their feelings, which can help them avoid screaming when they get upset. Practice labeling emotions, like “sad,” “angry,” or “frustrated,” and encourage them to use these words when they feel overwhelmed.


  4. Create a Calm-Down Space. Set up a designated space in your home where your child can go to cool off, perhaps with soft toys, calming music, or a favorite book. This gives them the opportunity to self-regulate when emotions feel overwhelming.


Parenting a child with big emotions requires patience, but with these strategies, you can help them manage their feelings while also keeping your own cool.



 
 
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